Your mama's so fat her Sushi Boat served on a barge

Restroom Baby changing stations are a hoax. Parents keep coming out with the same baby they went in with.

I guess you can call that "Oral Tradition"

Cause she’s fucking Grumpy.

In mobile homes

He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie really sucks at hearing doesn't he?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"

Policeman enters the bookstore. Salesman: - is it raining?

Police believe it was Poachers.

A talking frog shows up in the offices of a posh downtown Manhattan bank. He proceeds to ask a bank officer for a loan of $1 million. Patty Whak , the loan officer , said she didn’t understand and he says “well, My name is Kermit and my father is Mick Jagger. We have banked at various branches of this institution several times .” The loan officer still protested and said for that size of a loan they would need some type of collateral, so Kermit produced a small ceramic elephant and placed it on her desk. Patty was very confused and excused herself to go speak with the manager carrying the trinket with her . When she relayed the crazy story to her manager, she showed him the small ceramic elephant and said “I don’t know what to do, what even is this?” The bank manager replied “it’s a knickknack, Patty Whak. Give the frog a loan . His old man is a Rolling Stone. “ I’ll leave now….

Kg

A preacher goes to Alaska to hunt. He has a moose tag, and within a day, he manages to find a very large bull moose with a 60” antler spread. He gets to within 40 yards of the moose and has him in his rifle sights, then suddenly he sees a flash of fur, and realizes a very large Brown bear is charging towards him. He drops his rifle, gets on his knees and begins to pray, “Dear Lord, please make this bear a Christian!”. The bear immediately stops in his tracks, puts his paws together, looks up into the sky, and begins to pray… “Dear Heavenly Father, please bless this meal for which we are about to receive”.